Happy Birthday To Me

March 12, 1976 and then March 12, 1978 - 2 years later....
I wish I could remember when I turned 2. When my dad or sibling would've told me that I had a new baby sister....on MY birthday. I try to think how my kids at 2 would've handled it. How I would've handled it as their mother, stuck in the hospital on my sweet 2 year old's birthday. My memories of having the same birthday as my sister Roberta were never really good memories. I remember receiving a doll and being excited about it until I noticed Berta had the SAME gift - a doll. For some reason I had in my mind that being 2 year's older than her granted me the right to have gifts that were 2 years above her status. So for the rest of my childhood birthday's, I remember having to celebrate with younger sister Berta. I think mom tried to make it special at times, as I see pictures of 2 birthday cakes or seperate parties. Now that we are 34 and 32, things have changed. I love to see the surprise on people's faces when we tell them we were born on the same day. How is that possible? It's kind of like having a twin and yet cooler. So thanks, mom, for timing that perfectly. And thanks, Berta, for doing your part too.

Part II on this birthday to me, was a surprise get-a-way to a B&B in Holland, MI near Lake Michigan. My husband did more planning that weekend than I think he did for our whole wedding. What fun. We've never been to a B&B. They totally pampered us with bath robes, fire place, jacuzzi tub, breakfast in our room with the great view, and speakers coming out of the ceilings. We ate at a fantastic restaurant called Piper's. Just the best food ever - no interruptions except for a lady that felt she should order anything she wanted whether it was on the menu or not. It is fun to pretend for a weekend that you're rich, super young again or just pay tons of money to sleep all day in someone else's home. Who thought of this whole Bed & Breakfast idea anyway? Then we raced home to take Laish to a taekwondo tournament and watch our niece and nephew, and alas, the rest was over. It does still stay fresh in my memory. Thank you, Aaron. From arranging babysitting to having fresh flowers ready for me in our B&B room. I am a better wife and mom when rested....(hint....hint)

More Laish-isms

We started this ridiculous habit of putting to Laish to bed in our bed and then when we go to bed, we simply move him to his for the night....or until he wakes up and climbs back into bed with us. Right now it's easier than going through the crap of putting him to bed in HIS room. Why that would be so difficult, I don't know but whatever. We had small group last night and Aaron stayed home with the kids bc Emma was sick. When I came home, I went to kiss the kids goodnight. Laish was still awake and immediately jumped up to hug and kiss me. He's a cuddler! "Mommy, can you lay with me?" "Sure." So I lay down for a bit. He realized this and said,"No, I mean all night."

"Can I put peanut butter on my fingers and see what I stick to?" "Uh, no." "Why, would the peanut butter get all over stuff?" "Yes." I think he was looking at Red Eye Tree Frogs at the time.

As we are sitting at a stop light...."Mommy, can we just drive fast and crash into that car in front of us?" "No." "Awww."

After watching Emma puke all over our bed and kind of feeling like he wanted to puke himself bc of the smell, he sat thinking about all this. "What if Emma puked out of her feet? Or her eyes? Wouldn't that be weird?"

And to top of my day this past Friday with 2 needy kids, Laish had me at the point of exasperation as he kicked his sister with his winter boots "3 times in my ribs" as Emma bawled to me. And pinching and punching, etc. I had exhausted all the "time outs" and "go to your rooms" that I could. I said, "Don't you hurt your sister one more time or it's a spank." So then he got on the green chair that he's used as a merry-go-round and a ship, stood on it, and started spinning. "Laish, get off the chair please and don't tip it over or it's a spank." "You mean if I do this?"....and tipped it over. In the bathroom. He gladly went as I grabbed the wooden spoon on the way in. He nicely put down the toilet seat for me and said "Here, Mommy." I'm thinking, what is wrong with this kid? "I want a spank." Whatever. Then continues to pull his pants down to further assist me. I'm thinking something's wrong. So I start spanking and spanking until he's crying so hard. "Laish, Mommy said I was going to spank you." "But I didn't know you were going to spank me that many times." So not an hour goes by until he's back in there again. "This time, Mommy, just spank 1 time."

Every Valentine's Day, Grammy has this great thing she does for the kids. She bakes Valentine cookies, decorates them, individually wraps them in plastic wrap, and puts them in a container labeled "Emma" and one labeled "Laish". I was consoling Laish the other day about who knows what, when he asked for one of "his" cookies. "The ones from Walmart?", I asked. "No, you know, the other ones in the freezer." Out of reach was my thought there. "Oh, the ones Grammy sent you. I'm sorry, buddy, there are all by now." Through tears, "But who ate them all?" Oh dear, "Well, Mommy, Daddy, you and Emma. We all shared them." And then the saddest face grew on his pudgy little face and he sobbed, "But did you ask me?" Ok, so now I felt like crap bc I'm sure I was to blame.....mostly - stupid, yummy sugar cookies. I decided none of this would've happened if Grammy would've just sent me my own share...

Pajama Day

I had a glimpse - very small - on how God must feel when we don't get exactly what we think He should've given us. Even though he may know something that we don't - that maybe He's protecting us or protecting somebody else. He must ache to disappoint us and see us so upset.
My daughter had everything laid out last night for Pajama Day the next day. She was going to wear her new pajamas that Grammy had boughten her this past Christmas. The pants were warm with candy canes all over them. They were laid out on the davenport arm where we usually lay her clothes for the next day. I went to bed early and according to Aaron, she would not fall asleep. She was soooooooooooo excited. We had already sent in the 35 cents needed for milk and cookies the day before. The 1st graders already had pajama day and now it was finally the Kindergartner's turn. Oh the sheer joy and thrill of watching your child be happy. Nothing gets better than that!
I thought it rather odd that she came to my bedside this morning at 5am -her tummy hurt. I was in a good slumber and so somewhat annoyed, I took her back into her bed, laid next to her and mumbled some half-hearted prayer for the Lord to take away her pain. That's when the vomit began.
Now, apparently some kids (or only my sis in law, Beck) get so excited and nervous for birthday parties and what not, that they go and puke before and during their parties. I'm guessing that's what Aaron was thinking about - how we always poke fun of Beck for puking at her parties - when he suggested maybe Emma was anxious about Pajama Day. I only wish it had been nerves. Through all the vomiting, she kept reminding me that she needed to get ready for school. Emma loves school. For fun she'll write her numbers backwards by ten down each column. Or pretend she's writing in cursive. Her favorite game (besides memory) is for me to write words or sentences then she writes them next to mine. I just did 6 stinkin' pages for her the night before. I like to refer to them as her homework because I think it makes her happy to pretend to sigh as if this is so much to ask of her, pull up her chair and sit there for 2 hours and write. (Then we "grade" them. It just doesn't get any better than this, parents). I kept telling her to just rest. About 7:40 she looked at the clock and realized what time it was. Had she missed the bus? What now? I took a huge breath and softly explained that she couldn't go to school. That's when the wailing began. Her disappointment was too much to bare. How do I explain that she can't go to school on Pajama Day? Nothing made sense to her at this point. She cried herself into a hysteria. My mind was seriously considering how I could take her into school and just sit there with her for the movie that was going to be played for Story Time. I just wanted to make it happen for her and I couldn't.
Aaron tried to reason with her and explain that she would get other children sick. (Which is probably how she got sick in the first place, you unknowingly parent out there).
So as usual I've been thinking all day on the similarities of the relationship between parent/child to God and His children. How must He feel on days when I am so mad at him for allowing or not allowing something to happen concerning me? It's so hard to see past that disappointment. To see that there is actually a better way. I may not understand it but to fully trust Him? I must say I am sure I haven't with every test that comes my way...
Some lessons are easier learned than others. Missing Pajama Day for a 6 year old is one of the hard ones.

All is Calm. All is Bright.

Uncle Chris and kids playing the DS. They had no idea what they were doing but still fun!

Story time with Aunt Beck

Nakey Isis and Queen Emma

Like brother Like sister.

Mystical Memory Game that Grammy bought Emma. She just asked yesterday for me to get her up for school early so she can play Memory.

Aunt Beck, ugly face day

Pop Pop reading to his beloved grandkids.

Fondue night - always a favorite. Laish smeared with chocolate.

Fun sliding down stairs with Aunt Beck.

Aunt June and my sweet niece Isis

We miss you all and love you immensely!

Olive Hope Polinder

I had a youth group that I loved at the old Maple City Chapel. They have since all moved to Siloam Church or elsewhere but somehow are connected back to Siloam. I look at pictures of these families and miss them immensely. My friend Melody's sister had a baby early in Thailand and I've been following her blog since Olive's birth. Here's their website to read their story. Olive went to see Jesus last night and I'm in a sober mood despite the health of my dear family.
http://rustylynette.blogspot.com/
Why does this happen? What do they know now about God that they didn't before? I have a lot of questions for God when things like this happens. Lots. How do you trust Someone when you have no control? Or do I? My sister just told me she's going to have another baby. This will be her 3rd. Fear has crept into my head because of what Olive's gone through. "For He did not give me a spirit of fear but of power, love and sound mind." This is the verse I am teaching my 6 year old Emma these days. She's scared of being alone. I pray this over my fear of death. Olive, thanks for what your life brought to many people who didn't even know you or your parents. Your frail little body is at peace. No more pricks, no more pain. We trust your Creator. You fell asleep in your earthly daddy's arms to wake up in your heavenly Father's arms. I pray many siblings will follow for you and you will be able to see joy on your parents face again!

In Everything Give Thanks

Three years ago to this day, I received an email from someone thanking me for my administrative help. (She even said I had a friendly smile). She told me that she was taking this Thanksgiving Holiday to thank people in her life that she appreciates. I was so touched by this email. I still have the email - I look at it when I get a sore attitude. So, SK, thank you for the email so many years ago. I want to do what you have done and take this Holiday season and not just think of whom I appreciate, but let them know, including the Wal-Mart clerk. What an awesome feeling it is to have someone tell you that they are thankful for you and all you do.
So I begin with you, SK, thanks for the encouraging words. Your family is so beautiful and you're a freakin' awesome mom! Happy Thanksgiving!
Thanks to Aaron, mi esposa....is it cheesy to say everything? Emma & Laish, you are my sunshine, my only sunshine. Mom Shetler, I appreciate your honesty, ability to watch my kids at 65, your sense of humor and your love for God. Dad Shetler, your love & grace. My siblings and their families, for moving/staying in Goshen, IN and sitting together in the front pews at Dad's church. Beck, for every last "Why I love June" letters. KarKar, for having a baby and being such a redneck. To my fellow employees (Carmen & Kristi) for dealing with my OCD. To Hope, for my Scripture Box, walking prayer, ladies behind their sheds, and letting me talk. I appreciate my in-law's - Mom & Dad D., who can say they love their in-law's? You are more than I ever dreamed you would be. Now move closer. To the people who work at fast food restaurants. I would hate your job. Thanks for serving my family. Thanks to Millie. You are a good friend & wish I had more time to chat with you. Thanks for having Seth so Laish can learn taekwondo & respect! Bersta, you are a rock to me. I'm sorry we treated you bad as little kids. Thanks to my doctor and her office - you deal with me on a weekly basis and are still friendly to me. Jennifer M, your advise with my kids has been invaluable and I always look forward to your visits upstairs during the day. Carol B, thank you for kneeling with me time and time again at the alter. Sandra, your friendship means the world to me. Jennifer Y, I appreciate the time & energy you have put into Friday nights with me & my kids and being my Raw consultant. Karena, thanks for being real and not flaky. I love our conversations and your willingess to let Christ change your life completely. Thank you, Jesus Christ, for all these people and so many more. I want to praise you with thanksgiving.

1 Thessalonians 5:18 (Today's New International Version)
Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

Emma's Sin?

Me, Aaron and the kids met up with my sister Berta and her family at Kercher's Orchard for some Fall fun. It started out terrible. As usual I was rushing the kids to get done at WalMart, to get done unpacking groceries, to get in the van, to get there by noon. Which is how long Berta said they'd wait for us. Aaron was working on some plumbing for a family's home from church and I snapped at him to come with the family bc it would be fun. (Ha.) I was in a foul mood by the time we got there. It was just barely sprinkling. It was cold and windy. And I was pissed off that it was basically winter already. Here in Indiana it goes straight from Summer to Winter. Seriously, Fall lasts for like a week. So it usually takes me about a month (or more) to deal with this process. Berta, Scott and their girls were cheery as freakin' normal. This did not help my foul attitude. I did remember Aaron's warm hat and he thanked me which at least made me feel like I was needed for a minute. The hayride was actually kind of fun. It was muddy and we kind of slid around. Kids enjoyed it. Then we get out to pick pumpkins. I found much humor in Aaron throwing the rotten tomatoes at me and I started in on the throwing too. I wanted to take all the pumpkins home with us but finally resorted to 4 pumpkins (and a few cherry tomatoes in my pocket).

As we shopped around Kercher's Farmers Market, Aaron found his beloved Yoder's popcorn. But ended up disappointed because he couldn't find his Yoder's salt and vinegar salt. He resorted to just plain salt. Poor guy. And of course the kids got to pick out something. Emma opted for a caramel apple and Laish wanted candy. We were good parents for about 5 minutes of his whining and finally said, "FINE!". He got a perfectly huge sucker. I began to think that a caramel apple wasn't that good either. I lusted after some stupid healthy cookbook I didn't need and didn't buy it either! PTL, one temptation down. Emma showed me these beautiful sparkly rocks that dazzled and fancied her eye and heart. We loaded up and started getting the kids buckled up when Emma said, "Look, Mommy." In her grubby little hands was one of those sparkly, shiny rocks. My daughter had stolen from Kercher's! OH MY GOSH!

I totally freaked out and hollered for Aaron to come here because I couldn't believe my eldest child just made her first "steal". I never did find out what Aaron made her tell Kercher's or do but I got myself in check and told her later how happy I was that she showed me what she did. For some reason I was still struggling with the fact that she stole. Instead of how innocently she probably took the dang thing.

So then later that day I find this picture on our white wash board and WA-LA, my daughter has yet again taught me a lesson.

In this picture I see Emma and God as friends. See how they are holding hands? Such a perfect picture. Did she not just steal something like 4 hours earlier? How can she be holding Jesus' hand? Shouldn't she be avoiding Him right now bc of her guilt? And then hit me - this is how it's supposed to be. We sin, feel like shit and then we normally slowly avoid God. Emma must've felt perfect grace from Him (or else Aaron did some amazing parenting) and realized we don't need to make such a process out of our sinning. We sin, we make it right and then continue to grow in our relationship with God. Duh, Nita. Why do I have to make everything so dang difficult?

Thank you, God, for my Emma and Your beautiful lesson you taught me today. Help me to always remember that You will never leave me or forsake me, no matter what awful thing I've done to you and the people I love. I love you, Emma, and I love you even more for your imperfection.