Tuesday, April 8, 2014

I Just Wanna See You Be Brave.........

How did I get from packing for a week's vacation at Grammy and Pop Pop's house in Chambersburg, PA to sitting in a Ronald McDonald House because my daughter has been in Hershey's Children Hospital for 3 days?
I sit here in our room at Ronald McDonald House (that is totally free, by the way, functioning soley on grants and donations. Bless you people who give). Rewind to the beginning of our travels to PA.....We left Thursday night to come to PA. Both Aaron and I hate traveling. It causes major muscle pain and headaches are a given. But we love to go visit. We were anticipating seeing Blaine and Connie and getting some much needed sleep (me) from being up at night with Judah. By the time we got here, Aaron had a full blown migraine and we had almost used up all my prescription pain meds for the week. Ugh. Ugly week ahead I could tell. Oh Lordy, I had no idea what I was in for.
Saturday afternoon Connie had taken Aaron to an emergicare for his headache. They gave him a Toradol shot and said that's all they can do. They don't give out pain meds there. He went home and tried to sleep but pain so bad, Connie took him to Chambersburg ER. After an entire afternoon there, they basically gave him some Demoral and he came back home. They also have a policy that they don't treat migraines with pain meds. Well why did we come then? He came home and by Sunday morning he was trying to function normally but still struggling.
At 3am Sunday morning I woke up puking my guts out. Last week the kids both had the flu, along with my Dad, my brother in law Scott and their kids........it was not my turn. This isn't your normal flu. It feels like your guts are being torn apart and lit on fire. I had the Big D all day. How was I gonna function and nurse Judah even was what I was thinking? Everybody had gone to church (minus Aaron but he wasn't functioning yet). Aaron's sister Beck and hubby Chris and kids decided to take off for their home in VA so they didn't get the flu too. Unfortunately, they didn't leave quick enough and by that night Eliza was puking. Sorry, my sweet punky.
By Sunday afternoon I attempted to sit up. Emma came to me and was wheezing. She said she used up her albuterol inhaler. Uh What? I heard her wheezing through the night bc she slept in the same bed as me but she often does and sleeps basically sitting up at night bc of her asthma issues. She began to panic bc she couldn't breathe. I had forgotten the nebulizer that we had borrowed from her Aunt Berta. Dumb. I began to look online for places to buy or rent a nebulizer, calling our doctor on call, missing his call back, calling again, never getting them, consulting with local pharmacies here, consulting with my sister Shelly since she works at a home medical place, finally coming to the conclusion that we better take her in to ER. Amidst puking and pooping my brains out, I hugged her and told her to be brave. Off she went to Chambersburg PA's ER with her Daddy and Grammy.
Fast forward 4 hours. I get a call from Aaron asking if I am sitting down. Um yes, more like laying on the floor with Judah bc I can't get up. Blaine had taken Bodie to park to get some fresh air and run out his pent up energy. He said they are transferring Emma 2 hours away to Hershey Children's Hospital. Not 1/2 hour away to Hagerstown, MD, not 1 hour away to Harrisburg PA but to Hershey. They were transporting her via ambulance. Grammy was gonna ride with her and Aaron was going to follow in his vehicle. I hung up and cried. Actually more like bawled. Or waled. I was an emotional wreck. I wanted to be with my firstborn and hold her. If you know Emma, she is brave. Very brave. But when she sees her mom, she lets her guard down and wanted her to be able to cry if she needed to. I wanted to hold her and hug her and tell her she's going to be okay. To not be scared. Everything I was feeling and wanting to hear too.
I woke up Monday morning feeling a bit better from the flu. Aaron called and said that Emma is staying Monday night for sure. He said Hershey Hospital is HUGE and the staff is amazing. Apparently they whisked her in here from ambulance on gurney to her private room with her nurse waiting for her by the door. They had transferred her bc the 1st hospital said they had given her 3 or more breathing treatments and she was still getting worse. The doc said Hershey Children's Hospital is equipped for respiratory issues for children her age. Yes, yes they are. Monday afternoon at 1pm me, Blaine, Judah and Laish took off to be with Emma. I couldn't wait to get there. I played it cool to Blaine that there was no rush, yes, go ahead and go to the church and get some work done first.
When we got to the hospital we went straight to Ronald McDonald house. A room had just opened up and we had to go check in first. Ugh. The lady was sweetly giving us a tour and I just wanted to scream and say I wanna go see my daughter. We got the room bc Aaron said the docs said Emma will definitely have to stay the night. Apparently nurse Sarah didn't know Emma didn't know this and said something. Emma burst into tears. She wanted to go home. Home home. When we finally got to her room, I hugged her to pieces. She seemed "normal" in the sense where she can't wait to see you but when you get there, she doesn't know how to tell you that she's glad to see you so she acts like she doesn't care. Well, that's my interpretation anyway. At this point she has had tons of albuterol treatments. Do you know what someone is like after that? It's like speed. She said her heart is beating out of her head. She can't stop shaking, She is jumpy. She's constantly squeezing something. Rutchy. Rutchy. Rutchy. She's irritable and annoyed with everything. Her heart rate stays about 170 or more. Normal heart rate is 60 to 100. The docs say it's okay for her little heart to be beating that fast. She keeps an oxygen mask on 24/7 except to eat and has to put it back on during that when machine starts to beep. Her oxygen level should be around 95 to 100 and she can barely keep it at 93 with oxygen on 24/7. Her breathing sounds like a freight train. Repsiratory Therapist (RT) let me hear it. Her respiratory breathing # was between 40-70. The RT said it should be about 12. She just is taking quick short breaths and coughs like she's smoke a billion cigarettes. Every doctor that came in just kept saying quickly, nope, she doesn't sound good. They said you don't mess around with asthma. Nurse Sarah asked if she could talk to me in private. I thought oh Lord, now what. She said she just wanted to warn me that Emma is probably going to be here AT LEAST another night. Get her prepared. All evening she cried. She wants to go home. Her IV hurts her. She wants to take her oxygen mask off. Even though it's decorated with animal faces, it hurts her ears and head and she's not comfortable. Oh Emma, I need to see you be brave. Me and Grammy held her and prayed over her. Emma has an easy time telling me how much she hurts but when a nurse or doc or RT comes in, she's fine. She's brave. She's very brave.
I left bawling again bc she wanted me to stay but I had to be with Judah to nurse through night. So Daddy stays but Grammy stays too bc Daddy falls asleep and doesn't wake up when the nurses come in like Grammy does. Plus, to her dismay, Daddy farts in his sleep when nurses come in during the night. She tried to cover her face with her stuffed animals from embarrassment. I guess the nurse just feigned ignorance.
We got to Ronald McDonald house and I walk into our room and there's a crib with a quilt, a 31 diaper bag with a sticky note "from RH mgmt" as if it's no big deal. For some reason that hit me and I couldn't quit crying. Everyone had been so nice. Thank you Jesus for people who love their job.
Emma, Mommy is so proud of you. You are so so brave. When they come in to stick you for blood and your brave tears flow when it's all done, it makes me love you more. When you look at me with those eyes full of pain and fear and my Momma heart about rips in two bc I want to take it all away, I know God is working in you and making you a stronger person. And when you ask me with tears why you have to be the one with asthma, eczema, itchy toes, why me? I don't have the answer, my sweet girl, but I do know that if anybody has to be brave, it's you. God made you with a special quality of amazing 10 year old strength. You wear that strength with pride, baby girl. My theme song is the one by Sara Bareilles that you have been singing for weeks and weeks......I wanna see you be brave, Emma Jae.

Sunday, March 2, 2014

Judah Blaine Detwiler

So it's been 2 1/2 months since we rushed away to the hospital on our 14th wedding anniversary.  And if you haven't noticed it's been 1 year and 4 months since I've posted something. Don't ask me why I chose today to write something. Here's what happened in a nutshell:
I felt some cramping Tuesday September 3rd. No biggie. I always feel pain. You quite guessing if that pain means you are having a heart attack or what. You just learn to trust God that if it's your time to die, He'll take you. I know that sounds like my dad's way of thinking-I can eat 3 bowls of ice cream. If God takes me away bc I'm obese then it was supposed to happen. HA.
Anyway, so my water broke in the middle of the night. Bodie was sleeping next to me at the time. I woke up in a start and whoooooooooooosh. Water everywhere. I know some women tell you it doesn't happen like that but it did for me this time. Glad I wasn't in a grocery store. I told Bodie to go wake up Daddy who happened to be sleeping on the couch. NO, we weren't fighting. Don't ask. We kind of have a messed up sleeping arrangements. Well messed up to you guys but not for us. Currently kids have a made up bed on the floor in our bedroom. Judah sleeps in crib next to them. Me and Aaron in our bed eventually. Kids start out in our bed and throughout the night we play musical beds. It works for us. Don't judge.
Where was I? Oh, I had to tell Aaron 2x until he finally figured out we were going to have a baby this morning. He jumped up and got the kids around. We took them to my parents at 3am. By 3:30 in the hospital and getting hooked up to IV's. Epidural done.

Okay and now it's been 6 months since that day. Maybe I will get this blog post published before he's a year. To finish the birthing story bc who doesn't want to hear who had the best (and by best I mean worse) birth? This one was no biggie. Except that it hurt. Like a mother. And then he was out. Ta Da! Baby born into the world. They don't take him away anymore. They give you this nasty pasty baby and you are supposed to cuddle with it. Yeesh. I kept asking when they were going to clean him up. The nurses just kept saying, NO NO, skin to skin. I wanted to punch them and ask them if they wanted to be all snuggled up to that pasty white sticky skin. I know I sound like a jerk but he was born early so it was weird. Eventually I calmed down and realized I went through another humbling birthing experience (really God, this is how you finally decided to have babies brought into this world?). I was so in awe at this little guy.

6 months later I weigh the same that I did when I was pregnant, I don't sleep at night, and I am addicted to caffeine. Maybe some other things too BUT I have a sweet little Judah Blaine that looks up at me while nursing and smiles his cute little toothy smile, waits for me to be done yelling at his bro and sis, look down at him so he can go back to nursing. Just so we can do it all again in another minute. And I think, dang, what was life like before Judah? I may have more chronic pain and migraines but I have Judah. I may not sleep at night but I have Judah. I may have to work today, but I come home to Judah. (um and Aaron, Emma, Laish too). I wouldn't recommend to have a kid at 37 but if you get a Judah, then maybe you should. Especially if you have an Emma and Laish to help out.

Friday, July 20, 2012

Try-athlon for Kids

Can you even see this? This is Emma doing the Try-athlon 2012 for kids. She placed 3rd in her category. These are the pics that the Michiana Timing company took of every single person at the finish line. They each got a medal and then the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place winners got trophies.

Here's Bodie. He placed 3rd also. What a blast. Their cousin Liam did it too and Emma's best friend Kylee. It was a hot day but the kids didn't care a bit. I stayed home Friday & woke up Saturday with a migraine but the Lord healed me enough to go along and help Aaron. Thankfully Aunt Shelly & Uncle Sean were there too to assist in the transition area from swimming to bike. And of course Aunt Shelly ran with Emma and Aaron ran with Bodie. I was barely functioning but did a dang good job holding the backpack and towels and encouraging everybody. Sigh. Despite what Karla says, I once was a great athlete.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Tasha's Wedding



Friday night was my niece Tasha's wedding. She married Luke Jones. It was a gorgeous wedding. Emma and Laish were both in the wedding as a Jr Bridesmaid and Jr Groomsman
along with all of their cousins.
What a blast they had.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

1st day of School



Ahh the 1st day of school. Let me give you a brief overview: my alarm goes off at 5:30am instead of 6:30am like it should have. So at 5:30am I hit the alarm off and apparently Aaron's wasn't set right soooooooooooo at 6:50am we shot out of bed yelling at each other about who's fault this was. Emma popped up right away. Ate her breakfast in speedo time, brushed her teeth, got Laish's toothbrush ready, combed her hair, got dressed, grabbed her backpack and was ready to go out the door. In the meantime, Aaron and I are doting over our son, who's 1st day of kindergarten isn't going as well. He cried the moment he woke up until the moment he got on the bus. He was too tired, the light was too bright, he's too cold, the light is still too bright, doesn't want to get dressed, just so tired. Then just as we are all getting ready to go out the door, Aaron says "Did you guys want your lunches packed?" I could've punched him. Of course, they were like "yes, yes." So I scrounged together some applesauce, granola bars, juices and well, that's about it. We have switched to eating raw food mostly and I wasn't prepared to pack their lunches- only mine.


Well, we got it done with teamwork and actually had plenty of time to say a pray and wait in line for bus #1. Praise the Lord up above. There are 4 kids (including our's) at our bus stop (Emma, Laish, Cheyenne & Damon), and they helped Laish to get out of his funk and stop crying. He got on the bus and sat at seat 4 and off they went.

We held hands on the 3 second walk back to our house, immediately sat down on the couch and prayed. Well, Aaron seemed fine but I was still shaking from the morning fiasco. I didn't cry like I did when Emma got on the bus her 1st day of Kindergarten. Laish had his big sister to show him to his class, to sit on the bus with him, and to help him come home. Emma had to do it all on her own. Laish would be fine (I hope).

Well, the kids got off the bus then at 3pm. Laish just kind of plopped down on the porch and sighed. Emma was pretty chatty. They both had good days, thanks to their teachers Mrs. King (Laish) and Mrs. Thompson (Emma). Emma went into the bathroom after school and noticed Laish's toothbrush still setting there with toothpaste on it. She said, "Laish, did you have bad breath today or what?" Sweet Emma.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Goonies Reunite






We reunited in Portland, OR this time.

More to come!




Saturday, January 8, 2011

Go Colts!

It's starting to look a lot like Christmas....ok, Christmas is over but not the snow. We are getting some major lake effect snow right now. I say 2 feet. Aaron says we have more like 6 inches. Whatever. It looks like 3 feet and South Bend had that much today. We are currently on our date night at Mom & Dad's, sitting by the fire while watching the football playoffs. Colts play at 8pm and I'm super pumped about it. I think we will spend the night here. Kattor is asleep by the fire. Aaron went to get beer. I'm reading blogs. Life is good.
So update on the last 3 months.....we didn't travel this year to PA or VA. Aaron just laid down the law and said he's not driv
ing in snow this year. Blaine & Connie will be coming in a few weeks and we will eventually go to VA to meet our new niece Eliza Kate Long. We had our Christmas at mom & dad's on the 18th of December. We did some singing, listened to Shelly's Liam recite the entire Christmas passage in Luke, watched the kids open their presents and played games/poker (guys). How did I forget eat? My favorite. The kids got some money for Christmas (and their birthday's) from their PA great aunt & uncles and we decided to allow them to spend it this time instead of putting it directly into their bank accounts. I'm sorry, I meant, we allowed them to blow their money. Thank you Aunt Lindy & Uncle Lynn and Aunt Audrey & Uncle Arnie but let me just tell you what they bought. Laish bought guns - marshmallow shooting guns, dart guns, all of them. Emma bought a $40 dog that eats a dog treat and then shits it out and barks. Now Laish is saving his money for a gun like his big cousin Liam has. No No No No. Emma's been good about informing him that Santa and reindeers do not exist and after the blow of $, I have also explained that Christmas will not likely come again. =)
Speaking of guns, here's my latest Laish story: Our church makes
cookies for Gospel Echoes each Christmas which is partly an organization that will deliver homemade cookes during Christmas to people in jail. Laish was disappointed that we didn't deliver them ourselves. Then began the gun fettish. Fast forward 2 months. So one night before bed, I am trying to scare the piss out of him. Telling him that people with guns that shoot people go to jail and people in jail stay in there for their entire life. He didn't blink an eye and said "At least they get cookies."
On Christmas Eve we told the kids they weren't allowed to wake mommy and daddy up before 6am. After that, no problem. Keep in mind, our
kids have traveled their whole lives, so we have never had a typical "Christmas morning" where they open gifts etc. My family never did that but Aaron's family always did. Aaron's dad used to have a dairy farm so he would torture the kids by taking his time with his bfast after chores. Aaron was already getting excited about how he might torture them. Poor kids. Well, Emma woke up first and said, "Mommy, it's 7:22!" I have never seen either kid get up so fast. Emma hollered for Laish to come and he came running out. He stopped for a second and said, "If your eyes get a little fuzzy when you first get up, just shake your head a little." We totally surprised them and bought their Uncle Reggie's old Wii. What did we do before the wii? Geez.
Emma started back to school this past Wednesday. Wed's is Aaron's turn to get her up bc it's my one day off. Apparently he set his alarm for pm vs am so she missed the bus that day. She is a child of routine so it wasn't the best start for her. Friday the bus never showed up so Aaron piled as many neighborhood kids in his truck that he could and took off. Then the bus came. Half hour late. Never figured out what happened. She continues color, read and write as her hobbies. She's trying to convince us to let her join Art Club. She's a prankster and a jokester. Shy and not very chatty, especially to strangers. She has an infectious smile and loves her cousins.
Laish/Bodie has moved on from being "shadow". He was sonic for a while and now he's Bodie again. He's really into his big cousing Liam right now. He's very emotional - giggles a lot, can turn his crying on and off in a heartbeat, asks lots of questions, very huggy and snuggly and eats a lot of food. Aunt Renee said she thought he grew an inch or so since she had seen him last. He loves Legos and creating his own airplanes...that have guns on them. He is Mr. Chatty Chat. He will talk your head off if you let him. Aaron said to me the other day that he doesn't really listen to him anymore. I came into his babysitter/my friends house the other night and they had company and Laish was over talking to some random guy there. I went to rescue the random guy. He just said, "yep, he's a talker."
The latest news is that my brother Reggie and Arica had their first baby - little Audree Sue Shetler. Yes, her initials will spell ASS. She was born little and cute. I haven't seen her in a week and having withdrawal. I adore my new nieces and nephew. Berta's Justus is so huge. I love love holding him. Then their's Aaron's sister's new baby. I wish I could post her picture. She looks just like her mommy Beck. She is so cute with her hair spiked so high. I cannot wait to see her. 3 new babies in the last few months. I love it.
Aaron's been diagnosed with hyperthyroid recently, like his sister Beck. We don't know much yet but that his blood tests came back showing thyroid issues. He goes back again for more tests this next week. He's been very cold, not sleeping, irritable (nothing new there), anxious, lack of concentration. I'm working more at my brother's office bc one of the gals quit to be at home with her kids. It's kicking my butt. 4 days a week and I can barely take it. Hard to imagine I used to work 5 12 hour days when at Roadway. Aaron's job as Director at Bashor has expanded yet again. Bodie asks to stay at home more - he gets dished around to babysitters each day and ends up being the one that suffers I think. My sister Berta introduced me to a new author "Francine Rivers". It takes me about 2 days to finish a 2inch thick book. I love her. The kids will yell at me for their food and how hungry they are, but I just can't put it down. Check it out. I cried through one night of book reading and Aaron told me I looked like I had been beat up the next day - swollen eyes from crying and little sleep. They are Christian novels. Not love stories. Just good stories that are half true. Somewhat historical. Good. If you are reading this, buy me more. And for all of you who send out pictures for Christmas, I love it. Especially all my buds from hs and college & who live elsewhere who I don't see anymore - Candi, Laura, Karla, Sharon, Kelly Jo, Kratzer's in MN, Angie. Even the local folks. I don't know why we don't do it. I guess bc we still don't have computer/internet at our home so no time to just sit and fiddle. Ok, it's 8:10 and I have to go watch Peyton Manning and the Colts beat the Jets.