The Perfect Storm

So incase you haven't been keeping up with the weather in the Midwest, we have been getting storms and tornadoes and more storms and tornadoes. Last Friday was the first of them. Aaron was still gone with his buddies on vacation. I was determined to have a fun last night with the kids. This, of course, entailed ice cream at the Chief. I didn't KNOW it was supposed to storm like crazy with 80 mph winds. So we took off in our Swagger Wagon just as it began to rain. I had my white load out on the line but I thought it would be ok. Nothing a little rain would hurt. So, we get to The Chief just as all hell breaks loose. There's like 3 people there and we are all wondering what we are doing out in this. It was raining and blowing so bad. Did I mention the scary lightning? We ran to the van drenched with rain with sloppy cones. The kids were fussing and sticky. I decided against sitting there and waiting out the storm. I can do this.

As we began to drive, I realized I couldn't see. At all. The rain was coming down so hard. One guy I barely saw drive by with a tree under his vehicle. Just driving around like he had nothing hanging on him. Then things started falling on our van. Not sure what they were but could just hear and feel them. Stop lights were out. Trees were on the roads and people were stopped and driving around them. Emma could sense my spirit at this point and started to cry, "We're not going to make it." Laish is behind me saying, "Just take 2 deep breaths." He's just as calm as his Daddy would be. Thanks, Laish.

Well, we made it into our garage. One of our columns that holds our porch up had completely fallen down. Plants from the porch were strewn all over. And yes, my laundry, practically ripped to shreds. All over my neighbors yards. I never did find my little bucket I keep the clothespins in. Even though most my family lost power, we actually didn't.

Now, fast forward to Wednesday night. My sister had just gotten her power back on and WHAM, in comes another storm. Laish and Emma were gone to their PA grandparents so we didn't have to deal with them being scared. Aaron and I sat outside for awhile just watching the storm come closer and closer. Until all of a sudden it grew very dark and windy and rainy. They claim there 5 tornadoes in all - one was just 1-2 miles down the road from us but we only lost power for a day and that was it. I'm posting some pictures of the destruction that happened downtown on 8th street bc we know people there. But if you get a chance to look at other pictures. It's amazing the power of a storm!

Who's Your Daddy?

Aaron is getting ready to go on a trip. It's been a long time since I can remember him escaping life and heading to the mountains. He leaves with his buddies on Saturday to venture out into this world, to Ohio, to Hershey, PA and to his beloved mountains in Virginia. The week ahead looks wild. Work, babysit, Bible study, babysit, be with my kids, work and work & play. He's checked his list which included asking people to mow so I wouldn't have to and probably asking other things that I unaware of. He made sure to fix the van's a/c before he left with the BMW so me and the kids were taken care of. Who's the man?

It's close to Father's Day and my heart is so in love with this man. He works. Hard. He loves his children. A lot. He's not your typical guy - he does the laundry and the dishes. He mows our lawn because I hate our mower. I love that he doesn't get a new mower just because it's not self-propelled. He's simple. It's fine. He unloads the dishwasher because I don't like to. (You might be wondering what the heck I do all day????) I know that I have more free time as a Mother to spend with my children and that is such a precious gift. Thank you, babe! Thanks for making sure you kiss me at the beginning and end of each day. I love your tattoo. Well, both of them but I love the bird floating on your back. Your back full of muscles. I trace it when he sleeps, unware of my touch!

Enjoy your trip, babe, your Phish shows and your buds. Me and the kids will miss you....

La Escuela es Terminado

Yesterday was Emma Jae's last day of school. Me, Aaron and her Grandpa Shetler all attended the big event. They 4 Kindergarten classes all sang 2 songs: This Little Light of Mine and Big, Big Dreams. Then we went to her classroom to watch her teacher hand out diplomas. Then we made sure to get all the phone numbers we needed for the summer so she can have play dates with her closest friends. Someone asked me if I cried. I didn't. Should I have? Her teacher pulled us aside and said, "Emma.....well, she's perfect." Aaron wanted her to record that on video tape. =) I am blessed to have such a "good" child! She excels in school - goes above and beyond. She is learning Spanish on the Rosetta Stone DVD's our buddy Zac gave us years ago since he works there as a graphic designer. In her spare time, she likes to write and color. She found a real mailbox in our basement that Aaron and I never used, brought it upstairs to her desk where it sits waiting for mail from me. It's a fun game she began. If the flag is up then either her or I have mail. She loves to get mail!! And read read read. She told me last night she's bored at school. Sigh. Hopefully 1st grade will bring some new challenges because I certainly am NOT homeschooling. Here's some pictures of Emma and friends..

Emma and Mrs. Pfenning

Emma and her best friend Brooklynn (and her twin sister Chloe not pictured)Litzy, Emma and Camila

(Emma has been to Camila's house for her birthday party and to Litzy's for her birthday party and again for a play date. They played hide and seek with Litzy's brother Marvin who is 3 years old while Litzy's older sister Mitzy babysat for them)

Emma and Joseph (isn't he so cute?)

Emma and her friend & neighbor Fernanda

Emma can never take a serious picture. Remind you of anyone??? (Aaron......)What a punk

Was 'sup?

Okay so I'm realizing how hard it is to actually keep a blog with only internet at work. Sometimes I get so jealous of the fancy blogs and fun things people can spend time online doing. Then I realize I don't really need another addiction. The blog was to keep far away family up-to-date with things, NOT see how I rank in the blog world. (Which is why Aaron and I are spending our date night at my office on the internet). So....with that in mind, here's the latest happenings in Detwiler-ville, Goshen style.

Winter is over. (I think. Today I turned the heat on.) Ice is gone. Kids enjoyed the ice-sculpting this winter downtown. You will see here a beautiful sculpting of the maple leaf that so wonderfully represents our city. And some other stuff.

Neighbors. What would our kids do without neighbors? We are surrounded. Childless, we hated it. Now, we love it.

Laish accidentally got whacked in the top of his head with an aluminum bat by a neighbor kid. (Not his fault). But that scared the crap out of me. There are still blood drips on our patio to remind me of that moment of chaos and horror as I grabbed the first thing I could find - a kitchen towel. Put that on Laish's screaming head and helpless watched Emma and the other kids watch me panicking. Emma always cries and freaks out like me and I felt so helpless that I couldn't comfort her. Laish is a rock. He probably just cried because everyone was freaking out that blood was coming out of his head and rolling down his face. He probably didn't even feel any pain, to be honest. Don't ask him to look at his head. Just like you don't sing Happy Birthday to him or ask him to wear pants. He's got some issues. Jakin, the boy who hit him, went home crying because he felt so bad. I told that to Laish and Laish later told me to "go tell Jaking that I'm okay and that I forgive him." The newest thing is to climb the roof of the play house that Pop Pop built. I hate it but geez, what are you gonna do? Especially when Aaron does it with them?

I'm getting my baby fix watching Carly every Tuesday. Some friends we met through Aaron's work. She is the sweetest thing in the world and besides some mishaps where Laish likes to think he can pick her up, all is well.

Emma, our love, is so awesome. I can't say enough about her. She goes to her bed when we say. Sleeps all night in there. Wakes up great for school. LOVES school. Reads like a champ. She's kind of bored reading chapter books already. Obeys us for the most part. I'm learning to enjoy her personality so much more. She loves to tease and joke with us. Always smiling (or bossing Laish). She wrote me a Mother's Day card at school about how she loves my "brownyes and monster cookies". She loves her cousins and her "boyfriend"/neighbor Damon. (sigh). Lord, help us.......

Why are you Good, Friday?

I left my family at home this Good Friday. Some sleeping. Some awake. It's holiday so no school and most people don't work. We have no internet at home so I am sitting here at work before the one therapist comes in today, and I have a few moments to prcoess my thoughts. Friday's I get to drive the BMW to work since Aaron doesn't go in until noon and so I always feel extra special Friday mornings speeding around, feeling like I'm on the top of my game. I drove to the local Martin's Supermarket which I never do. Grabbed muffins for breakfast and a Latte at the Starbucks inside. The lady was so sweet and chipper and even said I could ring up my muffins at the Starbucks counter. Man, was today starting off good indeed.

Yet I sit here in my chair with a heavy heart this morning. Why? It's Good Friday, the day Jesus was carried to the cross and hammered to it as if he wasn't a human being. How is this a good day remembering that? I asked my kids all this week about Easter. What does Easter mean to them? After the initial "it's like Christmas" or "Is the Easter Bunny real" - I tried not to get pissed off that I hadn't taught them better. Walmart's Easter is candy, eggs, bunnies, gifts, more candy. Why should I expect them to think any different?. I do. I laid in bed with them one night explaining the true Easter story. Their little minds were actually listening so intently - except for the random being whacked by Laish's lizard he was holding on to. By the time I was done, and let me tell you, I did a freakin' fab job telling that story - Emma was clinging to me with her head buried and crying. What a tender heart she has. I found her asleep in her bed last night with her new Bible that her Grammy and Pop Pop just sent her from PA. I had this rawness in my chest that made me just lay there kissing her, annoying her slumber with my tears dripping down her cheeks. My only prayer is they know and love You, Jesus. May Your will be done.

I was listening to a speaker one time up in Detroit, Michigan at a Soaking Prayer Conference with my mom, and she said, "I find such comfort in the gruesomeness of the cross." Her words stuck with me for these many years. Why is that comforting? That He suffered so greatly? I am a 34 year old who has suffered most my life with daily chronic pain. Just that word "pain" brings tears to my eyes. We sing a song in church that says "there will be a day with no more pain..". Every time we sing that, I hold back tears and savor the moment of wondering what life might be like without daily pain. For this reason, His pain on this day is so hard to comprehend. It means so much to me that He felt physical pain for me. Pain I will never begin to know. The loneliness it brings - that no one else can know what you must be feeling. The thoughts of just wanting to die so you don't have to feel anymore. Then my mind comes back to my children and Aaron. I would suffer this pain every day until I die just to have my children live a life God fully intended. Is this possibly a bit of what He must've felt? Did His love for us, for me, just overwhelm His pain? I may never know what He went through so many years ago but I thank Him. I thank, you Jesus, for the cross. Thank You for the cross. I want to just lay at it now, all bloodstained and gruesome, and just cling to it, begging You to give me some hope for this shattered world.

Sometimes I try to think of Easter as Spring and happiness because He rose again and we should celebrate this and yadda yadda yadda. This year, I'm ok with sitting in His presence at the tomb. Pouring ointment on His body and lovingly washing Him with my hair (or something else since I have little hair at this point). I want to touch His wounds and see the blood on my hands. I want to weep and just weep and weep in His bloodstained clothes. I want to be tired and hopeless next to Him, curled up so tight against His lifeless body that no one could tear me away.

"For it is by grace you have been saved. It is a gift." Ephesians 2:8&9

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TxFSIFRKtOs

Happy Birthday To Me

March 12, 1976 and then March 12, 1978 - 2 years later....
I wish I could remember when I turned 2. When my dad or sibling would've told me that I had a new baby sister....on MY birthday. I try to think how my kids at 2 would've handled it. How I would've handled it as their mother, stuck in the hospital on my sweet 2 year old's birthday. My memories of having the same birthday as my sister Roberta were never really good memories. I remember receiving a doll and being excited about it until I noticed Berta had the SAME gift - a doll. For some reason I had in my mind that being 2 year's older than her granted me the right to have gifts that were 2 years above her status. So for the rest of my childhood birthday's, I remember having to celebrate with younger sister Berta. I think mom tried to make it special at times, as I see pictures of 2 birthday cakes or seperate parties. Now that we are 34 and 32, things have changed. I love to see the surprise on people's faces when we tell them we were born on the same day. How is that possible? It's kind of like having a twin and yet cooler. So thanks, mom, for timing that perfectly. And thanks, Berta, for doing your part too.

Part II on this birthday to me, was a surprise get-a-way to a B&B in Holland, MI near Lake Michigan. My husband did more planning that weekend than I think he did for our whole wedding. What fun. We've never been to a B&B. They totally pampered us with bath robes, fire place, jacuzzi tub, breakfast in our room with the great view, and speakers coming out of the ceilings. We ate at a fantastic restaurant called Piper's. Just the best food ever - no interruptions except for a lady that felt she should order anything she wanted whether it was on the menu or not. It is fun to pretend for a weekend that you're rich, super young again or just pay tons of money to sleep all day in someone else's home. Who thought of this whole Bed & Breakfast idea anyway? Then we raced home to take Laish to a taekwondo tournament and watch our niece and nephew, and alas, the rest was over. It does still stay fresh in my memory. Thank you, Aaron. From arranging babysitting to having fresh flowers ready for me in our B&B room. I am a better wife and mom when rested....(hint....hint)

More Laish-isms

We started this ridiculous habit of putting to Laish to bed in our bed and then when we go to bed, we simply move him to his for the night....or until he wakes up and climbs back into bed with us. Right now it's easier than going through the crap of putting him to bed in HIS room. Why that would be so difficult, I don't know but whatever. We had small group last night and Aaron stayed home with the kids bc Emma was sick. When I came home, I went to kiss the kids goodnight. Laish was still awake and immediately jumped up to hug and kiss me. He's a cuddler! "Mommy, can you lay with me?" "Sure." So I lay down for a bit. He realized this and said,"No, I mean all night."

"Can I put peanut butter on my fingers and see what I stick to?" "Uh, no." "Why, would the peanut butter get all over stuff?" "Yes." I think he was looking at Red Eye Tree Frogs at the time.

As we are sitting at a stop light...."Mommy, can we just drive fast and crash into that car in front of us?" "No." "Awww."

After watching Emma puke all over our bed and kind of feeling like he wanted to puke himself bc of the smell, he sat thinking about all this. "What if Emma puked out of her feet? Or her eyes? Wouldn't that be weird?"

And to top of my day this past Friday with 2 needy kids, Laish had me at the point of exasperation as he kicked his sister with his winter boots "3 times in my ribs" as Emma bawled to me. And pinching and punching, etc. I had exhausted all the "time outs" and "go to your rooms" that I could. I said, "Don't you hurt your sister one more time or it's a spank." So then he got on the green chair that he's used as a merry-go-round and a ship, stood on it, and started spinning. "Laish, get off the chair please and don't tip it over or it's a spank." "You mean if I do this?"....and tipped it over. In the bathroom. He gladly went as I grabbed the wooden spoon on the way in. He nicely put down the toilet seat for me and said "Here, Mommy." I'm thinking, what is wrong with this kid? "I want a spank." Whatever. Then continues to pull his pants down to further assist me. I'm thinking something's wrong. So I start spanking and spanking until he's crying so hard. "Laish, Mommy said I was going to spank you." "But I didn't know you were going to spank me that many times." So not an hour goes by until he's back in there again. "This time, Mommy, just spank 1 time."

Every Valentine's Day, Grammy has this great thing she does for the kids. She bakes Valentine cookies, decorates them, individually wraps them in plastic wrap, and puts them in a container labeled "Emma" and one labeled "Laish". I was consoling Laish the other day about who knows what, when he asked for one of "his" cookies. "The ones from Walmart?", I asked. "No, you know, the other ones in the freezer." Out of reach was my thought there. "Oh, the ones Grammy sent you. I'm sorry, buddy, there are all by now." Through tears, "But who ate them all?" Oh dear, "Well, Mommy, Daddy, you and Emma. We all shared them." And then the saddest face grew on his pudgy little face and he sobbed, "But did you ask me?" Ok, so now I felt like crap bc I'm sure I was to blame.....mostly - stupid, yummy sugar cookies. I decided none of this would've happened if Grammy would've just sent me my own share...